I just realized something really important.
There's something in me that wants to protect the people I love from everything bad. I don't want them to be in pain, or be hurt by others, or have bad things said about them. When I hear people bad mouthing my dearest of dear friends, it makes me sick. I go somewhere and cry.
But today I realized that I can't shield them from everything. And sometimes, I don't even have to. I am fiercely loyal to those that I love and I will do absolutely anything for them...but I need to remember that sometimes I have to sit back. I hate sitting back and doing nothing. I want to defend my friends against anything that could possibly hurt them. Knowing that I can't do that all the time kills me inside.
I hate crying like this. But the glitter that is running down my face makes things a little prettier looking.
Cry or Fight Back. That is my motto.
ReplyDeleteEither way I end up with glitter all over the place.
You can't shield everyone from everything.
You can't shield yourself from that realization.
I don't know what happened to prompt this post but please know that I love you and you can always talk to me.
I will be the one with smeary glitter on her eyes, while riding a unicorn and spilling coffee on her fairy wings.
xoxoxoxo
I just had a long phone call with Jumper and another dear friend, and I feel so much better about the world.
ReplyDeleteI think today was the day I learned how hard it is to be so in love with people.
I'm crazy. And I love you.
Oh Sweetheart here i am learning of your woes via blog. You have always been my big hearted, wear it on your sleeve, rose glasses girl. And as a mom I knew that meant some heart break for yourself and for others.
ReplyDeleteIlove all those qualities in you dearest. Don't let any amount of pain drive them away. Embrace them or fight with them but hold on to the extremes and dramas that are you.