The world is sort of crashing down around us. It seems as if everything that could possibly go wrong, has. Like Murphy's Law woke up this morning and took a giant dump on today.
But seriously, people. It's days like this that make me throw my hands into the air screaming WHY? over and over.
Who decided that it was ever okay for the young to die? That poor, poor girl from Bennington-she could have done so much. She could have solved the water crisis, or come up with the cure for cancer, or any number of world-changing things. She could have been a mother if she wanted to. I didn't know her. And now I never will. But I know people who did know her. They have lost a friend. My heart breaks for her, for them, and for her family.
She had two friends in the car with her. They are alive. They will deal with that in their own way for the rest of their lives.
I wish I could take all of the pain and the grief from this world and keep it to myself.
When these things happen, I tell myself that if there is a god (and I want to believe there is one-I want to, so badly), said god must surely be a man. No woman would want this.
I want to believe that one day we will see all the people we have lost. That maybe there is a heaven, or something along those lines. But my mind is far too small to wrap my head around the concept of an afterlife. So for now, I just...I just don't know.
There are so many things that I don't know. There are so many questions I haven't answered, so many times I have screamed WHY? and gotten no response. I am going to keep asking until I know.
Maybe I'll never know.
Hmmm.
ReplyDeleteSigh.
Ok - off the top of my head, "Why?" will never be fully answered.
But don't forget to take the time to have a "Why?" moment when something fabulous happens. When you just feel right and you are having a simple moment....maybe a laugh with friends....maybe a hug.
We tend to question Life when it doesn't make sense, but we rarely question Life when it DOES make sense.
I guess the beauty of the process is to question.
Love you.
This is going to sound bad and silly but, do you remember the answer to life, the universe and everything? And how it was fourty-two? And can you imagine how pissed the people made that computer were? All that time and all that effort and the best answer a super computer that thought for a million years could come up with was "42". Sometimes life doesn't have an answer. For inexplicably and or good. Sometimes it's just 42.
ReplyDeleteI love and loathe that part so much, Murrbeth. One day you're going to break your heart from stuffing so much love inside of it.
"The Hero Complex is an inherent desire to help others. It is a compulsion to help make their world right."
Complex, indeed.
Thank you-both of you-from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for helping me remember all the good there is in this crazy thing called life. I love you both. So very, very much.
ReplyDelete