I missed Poem in Your Pocket day. I celebrated it by reading some poems, but I didn't blog about any.
So here is my favorite poem. I don't have the words, but I think it's better that you watch it, see it read how it was meant to be read.
This is "Northcountry" by Kait Rokowski.
Friday, April 27, 2012
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Flailing for Finals
Friday, April 20
Finals day. The team checked into the Harper Auditorium waaaaay early so we could run a mic check. We allowed ourselves to get excited, even though winning wasn't really realistic. We were going to get second, and that was completely okay. All that mattered was sharing words with people who appreciate poetry just as much as we do.
It was one very exciting evening. Our team read very well. Actually, we kind of killed it. Our group piece was the best it's ever been. By the end of it, the winner of last year's National Poetry Slam was face down on the floor in front of his seat. I'm not sure why, but well-performed poetry tends to have that effect on people.
When the scores were announced, all the teams were mixed together. It was a beautiful thing, seeing students from four different schools supporting one another's words. Less than one point separated first place from third. Less than a tenth of a point separated second place from first.
That first place happened to be us.
Needless to say there was a lot of screaming and flailing involved.
I have no idea how it happened. Four days have passed and it still hasn't sunk in yet. But we just won the first-ever Louder Than A Bomb: Omaha. Slam communities across the nation know about this. I didn't know how big of a deal this whole event was until after, when I learned that Omaha might be considered to host the Women of the World poetry slam in a few years.
My life is so beautiful. There are so many people to thank, the team, our dear coach Katie, Andrew Ek and Matt Mason, Kevin Coval and Lemar Jordan,everyone who made this happen. I hope they know how many lives they've changed.
Finals day. The team checked into the Harper Auditorium waaaaay early so we could run a mic check. We allowed ourselves to get excited, even though winning wasn't really realistic. We were going to get second, and that was completely okay. All that mattered was sharing words with people who appreciate poetry just as much as we do.
It was one very exciting evening. Our team read very well. Actually, we kind of killed it. Our group piece was the best it's ever been. By the end of it, the winner of last year's National Poetry Slam was face down on the floor in front of his seat. I'm not sure why, but well-performed poetry tends to have that effect on people.
When the scores were announced, all the teams were mixed together. It was a beautiful thing, seeing students from four different schools supporting one another's words. Less than one point separated first place from third. Less than a tenth of a point separated second place from first.
That first place happened to be us.
Needless to say there was a lot of screaming and flailing involved.
I have no idea how it happened. Four days have passed and it still hasn't sunk in yet. But we just won the first-ever Louder Than A Bomb: Omaha. Slam communities across the nation know about this. I didn't know how big of a deal this whole event was until after, when I learned that Omaha might be considered to host the Women of the World poetry slam in a few years.
My life is so beautiful. There are so many people to thank, the team, our dear coach Katie, Andrew Ek and Matt Mason, Kevin Coval and Lemar Jordan,everyone who made this happen. I hope they know how many lives they've changed.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Curling Up
Today was the first day all week that I went straight home after school and did not leave. It was normal. I didn't go anywhere or see anyone. It was quite the startling change to go from spending evenings in the loudest place in town (the poetry slam) to wandering around in the quiet of my own home. There was so much silence.
It rained today. Not the feel-good, dance-around, summertime rain. It was the graveyard-cold, gray-skied, fog-in-buckets kind of rain. And it smelled nice, but it made me so sad. I wasn't feeling completely up to scratch anyway, but then the weather changed and it got worse. I went through the day trying very, very hard not to curl up in a ball and cry. I succeeded.
Finals are tomorrow. I don't know what to wear.
It rained today. Not the feel-good, dance-around, summertime rain. It was the graveyard-cold, gray-skied, fog-in-buckets kind of rain. And it smelled nice, but it made me so sad. I wasn't feeling completely up to scratch anyway, but then the weather changed and it got worse. I went through the day trying very, very hard not to curl up in a ball and cry. I succeeded.
Finals are tomorrow. I don't know what to wear.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Oops, We Did It Again
We're headed to FINALS!!!!!!!!!!!
Tonight was a whirlwind. We rocked the living daylights out of our pieces, people were astounded at the words that came out of our Catholic-school mouths, a huge portion of our student population came to support us.
I have never felt so good about my piece as I did after the bout, when a poet from the other team came to me with tears in her eyes. She grabbed both of my arms and thanked me, over and over. Tonight, I made people cry. And I'm not apologizing for it in the slightest. I know the power of my words and the affect they have on others. It is beautiful.
I'm so proud of this team. We began preparing for this competition as a complete nonentity and now, every single LTAB Omaha school knows who we are and what we're capable of.
But "the point is not the points, the point is the poetry." And we put some quality stuff on that stage tonight.
See you at finals.
Tonight was a whirlwind. We rocked the living daylights out of our pieces, people were astounded at the words that came out of our Catholic-school mouths, a huge portion of our student population came to support us.
I have never felt so good about my piece as I did after the bout, when a poet from the other team came to me with tears in her eyes. She grabbed both of my arms and thanked me, over and over. Tonight, I made people cry. And I'm not apologizing for it in the slightest. I know the power of my words and the affect they have on others. It is beautiful.
I'm so proud of this team. We began preparing for this competition as a complete nonentity and now, every single LTAB Omaha school knows who we are and what we're capable of.
But "the point is not the points, the point is the poetry." And we put some quality stuff on that stage tonight.
See you at finals.
Monday, April 16, 2012
Überpumped
Tomorrow at 7:30 pm, the skies will open and poetry will rain down.
In other words, THE SLAM IS TOMORROW THE SLAM IS TOMORROW THE SLAM IS TOMORROW!!!!
I'm so excited, I might pee.
I love this team. I love our coach. I love our words.
We're going to rock.
What makes the grass grow?
BLOOD! BLOOD MAKES THE GRASS GROW!
KILL! KILL! KILL!
In other words, THE SLAM IS TOMORROW THE SLAM IS TOMORROW THE SLAM IS TOMORROW!!!!
I'm so excited, I might pee.
I love this team. I love our coach. I love our words.
We're going to rock.
What makes the grass grow?
BLOOD! BLOOD MAKES THE GRASS GROW!
KILL! KILL! KILL!
Sunday, April 15, 2012
It This Real Life?
I can't quite wrap my head around the fact that this is real.
We won. We won. We actually won the slam.
Won, as in first place, five perfect tens on one piece, one step closer to finals, WON.
I am quaking in my boots.
This happened.
We won. We won. We actually won the slam.
Won, as in first place, five perfect tens on one piece, one step closer to finals, WON.
I am quaking in my boots.
This happened.
I Did Not Die. Instead I Made Merengues.
The majority of the public seemed to be under the impression that the world was going to end today. The weather reports all pointed to severe storms and possible tornadoes, and some big-shot weatherman flew all the way out her so he could "survey the devastation" tomorrow. My friends were freaking out. Fox News was reporting disasters of apocalyptic proportions...but that's pretty normal of them so I didn't pay much attention.
I don't generally buy into the mass hysteria that comes when expecting severe weather. I have never seen a tornado. And I know they happen, I know what this kind of weather is capable of- but since it's never happened to me I have a hard time envisioning it ever happening at all. So when storms come, I usually sit in silence and wave it off. Storms pass.i wish I could apply that kind of calm to my emotional life, but it seems that attitude is only present when it rains.
Anyway, I spent four hours at Madame's house shaving thin slices of zucchini and rolling them around a mixture of goat cheese and pesto. Unfortunately we didn't get to serve them to our guests because the dinner was cancelled. Oh well, I guess the plan is to host lunch for some nuns tomorrow afternoon instead. That should be fun. I do like these nuns. Some nuns are scary but these ones are cute and adorable.
Louder Than A Bomb is tomorrow, too! I am so excited. I'm not reading any individual pieces until the bout on Tuesday, but I am a part of tomorrow's group piece. Tickled Pink, Good Sport, and I wrote it together and we're performing it together as well. We're pretty connected to this piece. It's our baby, and it had an especially difficult delivery which very nearly ended in us punching one another in the ovaries. I'm glad it didn't. Wish us luck!
I don't generally buy into the mass hysteria that comes when expecting severe weather. I have never seen a tornado. And I know they happen, I know what this kind of weather is capable of- but since it's never happened to me I have a hard time envisioning it ever happening at all. So when storms come, I usually sit in silence and wave it off. Storms pass.i wish I could apply that kind of calm to my emotional life, but it seems that attitude is only present when it rains.
Anyway, I spent four hours at Madame's house shaving thin slices of zucchini and rolling them around a mixture of goat cheese and pesto. Unfortunately we didn't get to serve them to our guests because the dinner was cancelled. Oh well, I guess the plan is to host lunch for some nuns tomorrow afternoon instead. That should be fun. I do like these nuns. Some nuns are scary but these ones are cute and adorable.
Louder Than A Bomb is tomorrow, too! I am so excited. I'm not reading any individual pieces until the bout on Tuesday, but I am a part of tomorrow's group piece. Tickled Pink, Good Sport, and I wrote it together and we're performing it together as well. We're pretty connected to this piece. It's our baby, and it had an especially difficult delivery which very nearly ended in us punching one another in the ovaries. I'm glad it didn't. Wish us luck!
Friday, April 13, 2012
Bon Appetit!
I just got home from a four hour stint in my French teacher's kitchen. My class is serving a five-course meal in the traditional French style to some parents tomorrow night, and we've been working very hard on our dessert making skills.
I love my French class. We're a fantastic bunch. We work really well together, and to be honest we're all freaking hilarious. We also love to eat. I'm rather surprised that any of the food we made today actually made it into the oven. No doubt we'll be stuffing our faces with leftover macaroons tomorrow night.
Our teacher rocks. She's from France originally, and her family still lives there. But she's completely fluent in English, so upon first meeting her you'd have no idea she hasn't lived in the U.S. her whole life. She told me once that when she's trying to remember a book she's read or a movie she's seen, she sometimes can't remember if she read or saw it in English or in French. I can only dream of getting to that level in my language studies. Madame loves our class. She makes us all kinds of food and laughs at the silly things we say during class. I like to think she really appreciates us coming over to cook because we fill her usually silent house with laughter and all sorts of bavardage.
Let's hope there isn't a tornado tomorrow. We wouldn't want all those fancy foodstuffs to go to waste.
I love my French class. We're a fantastic bunch. We work really well together, and to be honest we're all freaking hilarious. We also love to eat. I'm rather surprised that any of the food we made today actually made it into the oven. No doubt we'll be stuffing our faces with leftover macaroons tomorrow night.
Our teacher rocks. She's from France originally, and her family still lives there. But she's completely fluent in English, so upon first meeting her you'd have no idea she hasn't lived in the U.S. her whole life. She told me once that when she's trying to remember a book she's read or a movie she's seen, she sometimes can't remember if she read or saw it in English or in French. I can only dream of getting to that level in my language studies. Madame loves our class. She makes us all kinds of food and laughs at the silly things we say during class. I like to think she really appreciates us coming over to cook because we fill her usually silent house with laughter and all sorts of bavardage.
Let's hope there isn't a tornado tomorrow. We wouldn't want all those fancy foodstuffs to go to waste.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Gush
I saw Jumper again today. We are tired of missing each other and being sad, so I am taking every opportunity to meet up with him. I've been around him more in the past two weeks than I ever thought I would be after a show. It is wonderful.
I Love George and I went to his school to see their band, choir, and speech program. It was lovely. There are lots of talented people that go to his school. I felt like a proud parent, or at least a crazy great-aunt. Jumper gave his poetry speech piece about goodbyes. If he were going off to a far away college next year it would have made me very sad. But he'll be dorming it up just down the street so I have nothing to worry about.
Good gravy, do I love that boy. He wore a blue suit. Not navy- blue. Bright blue. It was splendid. He is splendid.
Sorry to gush about my pride...when I'm tired, I tend to repeat myself. Oops.
I Love George and I went to his school to see their band, choir, and speech program. It was lovely. There are lots of talented people that go to his school. I felt like a proud parent, or at least a crazy great-aunt. Jumper gave his poetry speech piece about goodbyes. If he were going off to a far away college next year it would have made me very sad. But he'll be dorming it up just down the street so I have nothing to worry about.
Good gravy, do I love that boy. He wore a blue suit. Not navy- blue. Bright blue. It was splendid. He is splendid.
Sorry to gush about my pride...when I'm tired, I tend to repeat myself. Oops.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Hide Me Like An Egg
This is one of those nights when I don't remember anything at all of the last 24 hours.
So blogging is going to be a smidge difficult, I believe. Hm.
Well, Easter is here. I take no issue with the day itself, but I harbor the same small feelings of religious discomfort and dread of large family gatherings as I do for most holidays. Well, except for the first day of summer, but I'm pretty sure that's a pagan feast day or something sooooo...
However, the family gathering set for tomorrow looks to be decidedly small and entirely not awkward. That will be lovely. And it will be outside, so if I happen to fall into one of my recently developed antisocial attitudes I can either sneak inside or run off to the woods. There, that's a plan.
Wish me luck.
So blogging is going to be a smidge difficult, I believe. Hm.
Well, Easter is here. I take no issue with the day itself, but I harbor the same small feelings of religious discomfort and dread of large family gatherings as I do for most holidays. Well, except for the first day of summer, but I'm pretty sure that's a pagan feast day or something sooooo...
However, the family gathering set for tomorrow looks to be decidedly small and entirely not awkward. That will be lovely. And it will be outside, so if I happen to fall into one of my recently developed antisocial attitudes I can either sneak inside or run off to the woods. There, that's a plan.
Wish me luck.
Friday, April 6, 2012
Hush
My willingness to interact with any human being is at an all-time low.
It's better in the mornings and early afternoons. From the time I wake up to about 2 p.m., I am fully functioning and amicable. But between the hours of three and eight in the afternoon and evening, I just fall apart. I start to panic and shiver and after only saying a few (very forced) words to someone I start to tear up. I sprint straight to my bed, curl up into as tight a ball as I possibly can under as many blankets as I can find, and rock myself back and forth.
I'm developing awful, awful antisocial tendencies. I've spent more time alone in the past year than I have at any other point in my life. And I do love people, I do like to spend time with friends. I still love hugs and holding people's hands and all of that. But during those five hours of the day I just don't want anything to do with humans or other things with a pulse.
I don't know why this is happening. But I do know that I feel lost, like I'm just bobbing up and down in the waves without anything to keep my tied to shore. I need someone to be my anchor. Right now I'm just kind of empty.
It's better in the mornings and early afternoons. From the time I wake up to about 2 p.m., I am fully functioning and amicable. But between the hours of three and eight in the afternoon and evening, I just fall apart. I start to panic and shiver and after only saying a few (very forced) words to someone I start to tear up. I sprint straight to my bed, curl up into as tight a ball as I possibly can under as many blankets as I can find, and rock myself back and forth.
I'm developing awful, awful antisocial tendencies. I've spent more time alone in the past year than I have at any other point in my life. And I do love people, I do like to spend time with friends. I still love hugs and holding people's hands and all of that. But during those five hours of the day I just don't want anything to do with humans or other things with a pulse.
I don't know why this is happening. But I do know that I feel lost, like I'm just bobbing up and down in the waves without anything to keep my tied to shore. I need someone to be my anchor. Right now I'm just kind of empty.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Waiting Game
I haven't been to a funeral since the sixth grade. I haven't cried at a funeral since the fourth grade. I have only ever been to wakes and funerals; I have never seen someone just inches from death. But my Gram is there now, and I went to see her today. We thought for awhile that today was it, that she was going to be done. She is ready to be done. But the hospice nurse says she has at least two more days in her.
I am angry at my grandfather. We could not get a hold of him at all today. I don't know where he was or if someone was finally able to contact him, but we tried and tried and he didn't pick up his phone. Gram is holding out for him. And I know it wasn't his fault, but I am new to this and confused and scared and people who feel these things always look for people to blame for their emotions.
Maybe I am scared and confused about the process that is dying, but I do know that grieving is a big part of it. And I will go through my own cycle of grief, but I don't believe that a huge part of it will be tears. I love Gram. I always will. But she is ready, and I want for her to be at peace.
I am angry at my grandfather. We could not get a hold of him at all today. I don't know where he was or if someone was finally able to contact him, but we tried and tried and he didn't pick up his phone. Gram is holding out for him. And I know it wasn't his fault, but I am new to this and confused and scared and people who feel these things always look for people to blame for their emotions.
Maybe I am scared and confused about the process that is dying, but I do know that grieving is a big part of it. And I will go through my own cycle of grief, but I don't believe that a huge part of it will be tears. I love Gram. I always will. But she is ready, and I want for her to be at peace.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Let The Break Begin!
It's break! Thank goodness. This three day long schoolweek seemed to last about eight.
Tonight was Movie Night with The Gang. There wasn't as much movie-watching as there was hysterical laughter and obnoxious comments. But it was still lovely. I've missed them all so much since this weekend.
But now I'm exhausted, so I am going to cease with my blogging and fall into bed. I have a poetry meeting tomorrow. We're getting closer and closer to Louder Than A Bomb and it worries me deeply because I know how far from ready we are at this point.
Off to dream-land.
Tonight was Movie Night with The Gang. There wasn't as much movie-watching as there was hysterical laughter and obnoxious comments. But it was still lovely. I've missed them all so much since this weekend.
But now I'm exhausted, so I am going to cease with my blogging and fall into bed. I have a poetry meeting tomorrow. We're getting closer and closer to Louder Than A Bomb and it worries me deeply because I know how far from ready we are at this point.
Off to dream-land.
Home Stretch- Countdown To Break
I am decidedly too tired to blog tonight.
The in-class essay went better than expected. I knew exactly what I was talking about. However, the question remains- did I convey my knowledge in an accessible (and also attractive/pretty) way? I sure hope so.
Break starts at 2:45 tomorrow. Let's hope I make it.
The in-class essay went better than expected. I knew exactly what I was talking about. However, the question remains- did I convey my knowledge in an accessible (and also attractive/pretty) way? I sure hope so.
Break starts at 2:45 tomorrow. Let's hope I make it.
Monday, April 2, 2012
Holy Week or Hell Week: You Decide
And so begins the countdown to Easter Break. Only two more days. I have a feeling they'll drag on and on, though, and I'm not thrilled about it. For some reason the shortest weeks of the school year are always the most academically intense.
I've got an in-class essay tomorrow that I didn't know about until very late last night. Everyone in my class thought it was a cruel, sick April Fool's joke. Unfortunately it was legitimate, and we will be expected to write five paragraphs dealing with nationalism in thirty minutes. I probably won't be able to blog tomorrow due to extremely sore fingers.
It's weeks like these that make me want to be done with school forever. There are so many unpleasant things that I don't want to do! It would be so much easier to quit. But obviously I can't do that. I guess I'll just have to push through the frustration.
One final note: I've been missing people all day. That is truly the worst feeling in the world.
Goodnight, folks.
I've got an in-class essay tomorrow that I didn't know about until very late last night. Everyone in my class thought it was a cruel, sick April Fool's joke. Unfortunately it was legitimate, and we will be expected to write five paragraphs dealing with nationalism in thirty minutes. I probably won't be able to blog tomorrow due to extremely sore fingers.
It's weeks like these that make me want to be done with school forever. There are so many unpleasant things that I don't want to do! It would be so much easier to quit. But obviously I can't do that. I guess I'll just have to push through the frustration.
One final note: I've been missing people all day. That is truly the worst feeling in the world.
Goodnight, folks.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Goodnight, Not Goodbye
Yesterday I mentioned that I felt numb about the whole "show ending" thing, and I said that the finality of it all hadn't fully sunk in yet. Today it did, hard. So instead of wallowing in my sorrows, I am going to emphasize the happiness that Theater Magic makes me feel by writing cheesy paragraphs about my Sister Wives.
My lovely Rachael,
I am no longer petrified of you. As a matter of fact, I love you so dearly. I'm glad that we can relate to each other's grade school experiences and laugh about them, and I'm even more glad that we both wound up making Theater Magic in the same place. You are so talented and so kind, and I'm very thankful to know you. It makes me happy to know that our little cult means so very much to you. I promise to call you every opening night and to get you in on the Chi Chi-sharing action. I love you, Rae. Thanks for everything.
Dearest Catie,
I find it hilarious that neither of us really remembers when we first became friends. I think it just sort of happened- all of the sudden I started seeing you nearly every minute of the day. We're good for each other; I wouldn't want to be uncomfortable and creepy and occasionally hostile with anybody else in this world. Thank you for tolerating me when I really should not have been tolerated, for comforting me when things got rough, and for laughing at Lauren entirely too much with me. It's been an incredible year. I'll miss you next fall, but I know you'll always be back. I love you like Peeta loves bread.
John, honey,
It's positively excellent that you find me to be an acceptable human being. For awhile I was really concerned that you didn't, so it was really great to learn that I was wrong. My dear, you bring so much light to my world. Thank you for your wisdom during the days I felt blue, for waltzing backstage in the dark with me, for frolicking in the rain and dancing to Gaga. We are quite the pair. You are the Giles to my Buffy, the Cinna to my Katniss. I can't think of much else that you haven't already heard me say and maybe I'm repeating myself here, but I mean every word. You're such a gift. Remember that. I love you, baby. Like a little prayer.
You are all the best and loveliest people I know. Thank you for sharing this experience with me.
Blessed are those who make that magic.
My lovely Rachael,
I am no longer petrified of you. As a matter of fact, I love you so dearly. I'm glad that we can relate to each other's grade school experiences and laugh about them, and I'm even more glad that we both wound up making Theater Magic in the same place. You are so talented and so kind, and I'm very thankful to know you. It makes me happy to know that our little cult means so very much to you. I promise to call you every opening night and to get you in on the Chi Chi-sharing action. I love you, Rae. Thanks for everything.
Dearest Catie,
I find it hilarious that neither of us really remembers when we first became friends. I think it just sort of happened- all of the sudden I started seeing you nearly every minute of the day. We're good for each other; I wouldn't want to be uncomfortable and creepy and occasionally hostile with anybody else in this world. Thank you for tolerating me when I really should not have been tolerated, for comforting me when things got rough, and for laughing at Lauren entirely too much with me. It's been an incredible year. I'll miss you next fall, but I know you'll always be back. I love you like Peeta loves bread.
John, honey,
It's positively excellent that you find me to be an acceptable human being. For awhile I was really concerned that you didn't, so it was really great to learn that I was wrong. My dear, you bring so much light to my world. Thank you for your wisdom during the days I felt blue, for waltzing backstage in the dark with me, for frolicking in the rain and dancing to Gaga. We are quite the pair. You are the Giles to my Buffy, the Cinna to my Katniss. I can't think of much else that you haven't already heard me say and maybe I'm repeating myself here, but I mean every word. You're such a gift. Remember that. I love you, baby. Like a little prayer.
You are all the best and loveliest people I know. Thank you for sharing this experience with me.
Blessed are those who make that magic.
Did That Just Happen?
It's over.
Everything was less of a cry fest than I had anticipated; we were all very emotional before the show and then our tears cleared up right away. I don't think I've actually come to terms with the fact that we're done, or even that we ever had a show in the first place. It was all sort of a blur for me. Any other day I would be gushing and praising and being completely overwhelmed with love for all of these people, but I'm just not in the right state of mind. I'm numb to it all right now. The reality of it all will probably hit me like a freight train in the next few days, but for now I'm living in blissful ignorance. As far as I'm concerned, it isn't my dearest people's last show on our stage, no one is going away, we're going to get up and do it all over again next week.
So that is where I am at the present. I'll probably be in an entirely different place tomorrow.
Oh wait, it's already tomorrow.
Everything was less of a cry fest than I had anticipated; we were all very emotional before the show and then our tears cleared up right away. I don't think I've actually come to terms with the fact that we're done, or even that we ever had a show in the first place. It was all sort of a blur for me. Any other day I would be gushing and praising and being completely overwhelmed with love for all of these people, but I'm just not in the right state of mind. I'm numb to it all right now. The reality of it all will probably hit me like a freight train in the next few days, but for now I'm living in blissful ignorance. As far as I'm concerned, it isn't my dearest people's last show on our stage, no one is going away, we're going to get up and do it all over again next week.
So that is where I am at the present. I'll probably be in an entirely different place tomorrow.
Oh wait, it's already tomorrow.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)